


You & I

by veepthroat



Series: First Comes [2]
Category: Veep
Genre: F/M, super cheesy wedding fic!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8116684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veepthroat/pseuds/veepthroat
Summary: She was too transfixed on the work in front of her that she didn’t immediately realize that he had slipped a ring onto her finger until he dropped her hand back onto the coffee table and she had heard a clicking sound.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite literally the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but what can I say? Wedding fics are fuckin' cheesy. *shrugs* It's also long as hell. Also, when ya meet Dan's brother, picture Ben Feldman. That being said, enjoy. :)

“Selina’s got six months left of her term as Speaker of the House. Since she’s going to run for President again, she’s got two months to announce her intentions, so that we can have an entire year and then some to ensure the presidency is actually her’s this time.”

“Can you fuckin’ believe it’s been almost three years since she lost the vote? And what a fuckin’ come back, to lose the election and then be elected as Speaker, November of the same year. Not only that, but to be the first speaker in history to not be a member of the House.”

“Yeah, well we managed to make a miracle happen with that one, especially after the whole sex scandal with Tom. We’d honestly thought her career was over, but they played off the fake couple shit really well.”

“Well, obviously seeing as they’ve been married for a year now.”

Literally less than forty-eight hours after Selina had lost the Presidency, a single clip from Catherine’s documentary had leaked, revealing that Selina and Tom James had had a rendezvous in their time at the White House, on a night where there were several hundred other people on the premises. Amy and all of Selina’s ex staff - sans Dan and Sue - had scrambled together to come up with the elaborate cover Selina and Tom faking a relationship for the sake of protecting their careers, knowing that the public would eat that shit up. 

Little had any of them known that it would lead to the two getting married a little over a year later. 

“That is honestly still the most unbelievable thing out of all of this. That she fucking married him! She hated him and instead of murdering him in cold blood for that stunt, she faked a relationship with him for the press, only to actually fall in love with him. It’s disgusting how good together they are too.” 

“Selina’s approval ratings literally bumped up from sixty-four percent to ninety. Ninety. A mother fucking twenty-four percent bump for getting married.”

Amy looked up at Dan from the binder containing at least fifty pages of what went wrong the first two times Selina had run for President in 2010 and in 2016. Forty-five of said pages were on her second attempt. This third run would definitely be the charm, there was no way that Amy was going to sit and watch Selina crash and burn for a third, and final time. 

“It’s because she’s a woman and D.C. still thinks that women in politics should be married. Wearing those rings on her finger make her look softer, like she’s easier to take down...except they clearly don’t know Selina Meyer.” She responded, flicking the cap of the highlighter she was holding at his face.

She missed. 

“Aim below the chin, thank you.”

“Why? You’re ugly regardless, might as well add a dash of color.” She replied, watching as he narrowed his eyes.

“You have a zit on your chin.” 

She grabbed her phone and looked at herself in the reflection of her screen. There was nothing on her chin. She threw her phone at him, hitting him flat in the chest as she wrinkled her nose at him.

“You know, we’re almost at the two and a half year mark.” Dan commented, changing the subject. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you were capable of sustaining a relationship for longer than a week.” She replied teasingly. She watched as he rolled his eyes at her, standing from his position across from her on the floor before leaving her line of sight.

Amy went back to reviewing the papers in front of her. She was still Selina’s chief of staff and she knew that when she announced she was going to run in the coming weeks, that her title would change to campaign manager. She had no doubt about that and she wanted to ensure that this time around, she did everything in her power to avoid a result as catastrophic as the last time she had run. She felt the couch suddenly shift behind her, rolling her eyes. 

One of these days Dan Egan was going to jump over the back of the couch and its legs were going to give out and that would be the day that Amy Brookheimer killed him, because the leather couches in their living room were fucking expensive. 

She felt his energy shift behind her and she could tell he was anxious over something, but couldn’t think of a reason why. It was the beginning of the summer and it was going to be an uneventful summer in DC at that, seeing as the House would only be in session for eight weeks, which would give him little room to say anything stupid in the middle of a broadcast. 

But then again, being anxious was their default mood. 

The couch shifted again and he grabbed her left hand.

She was too transfixed on the work in front of her that she didn’t immediately realize that he had slipped a ring onto her finger until he dropped her hand back onto the coffee table and she had heard a clicking sound. 

Amy looked down at her finger and then at Dan, who had slid down onto the floor beside her. The ring was rose gold, diamonds along the entire band with a pear shaped one set in the center of it. She knew jack shit about jewelry, but she knew this had to have cost at least fifteen grand. 

“Marry me.” 

“What?” 

She honestly needed him to repeat what he’d said to make sure she heard him correctly.

“Marry me, Amy. No one else is going to deal with your neurotic ass as well as I can, and I know for a fucking fact that any woman who has willingly been in a relationship with me for over a year, is clearly the only one for me. I love you, Ames.”

“Yes. Yes, yes, fucking yes!” She said the words quickly, the way she spoke whenever she was frustrated except in this case, it was out of excitement. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“We’re literally about to begin transitioning into election campaigning mode, who the fuck has time to plan a wedding?” She commented, bringing a hand up to his cheek once they’d pulled away. 

“We get married before the start of the New Year, right after Selina’s no longer speaker, and right before we go into full campaign mode.”

“You already had this planned out, didn’t you?” 

She ran her thumb against his cheek.

“The night we moved in together, we fell asleep on this same spot of the floor. Around three a.m., I woke up with you drooling on my shoulder and that’s when I knew.”

“Asshole.”  
\---

Selina was the first person Amy called and Dan wished he could have been surprised by the fact that she called her boss before her mother, but he honestly wasn’t. Amy had spent more time with Selina in the last fifteen years than she had with anyone else. 

Wouldn’t have made sense for her to call anyone but her best friend first. 

“Congrats, bozos.” 

Amy had put the phone on speaker and was leaning against him on the couch as he ran his fingers through her hair. 

“Thanks, Ma’am.” They both responded in unison.

“Are you shotgunning this shit or what? The next year and a half are gonna be pretty fuckin’ busy. Ya should have either proposed sooner, or waited until the end of next year ‘cause we’ve got an election to win.”

“December. Right after you’ve left the House and right before you go hard on the campaigning.” Dan replied, giving a good yank to a strand of Amy’s hair.

“Good. Well, foot me the bill. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t hired you all those years ago.”

“Selina, you don’t have to -”

“I’m not takin’ no as fuckin’ answer, Amy. I’m paying for this wedding, whether you like it or not.”

“Alright, will do.” Dan answered, covering Amy’s mouth before she could respond.

“Well, at least one of you’s got some sense...That being said, Tom’s got this new grill he wants to use, something about it having fuckin’ solar panels to power it, the fuck if I know, but come over for dinner this week and we’ll fire that baby up.”

“Just text us the details, you’ll see us there.”

With that, they ended the call. 

The next person they called was Dan’s mom, who literally cried tears of joy to find out that he had finally decided to settle down and get his shit together. He watched Amy suppress a giggle as her eyes widened at the sound of his mother’s hysterics and gave her a little shove. 

They called Amy’s family last, for obvious reasons, both of them feeling a little on edge as the dial tone filled the room. 

“It’ll be fine, stop fidgeting, Ame.” He put his hand on her knee, stopping her from fidgeting. 

“Hey fuckwad, how’s it?”

Both Dan and Amy collectively rolled their eyes at the sound of Sophie’s voice.

“Where are mom and dad?” 

“They’re right here, I just happened to answer the phone first. You’re on speaker.”

Dan watched as Amy swallowed in attempts to find the nerve to tell her family.

“So...I’ve got some news.” 

“You finally dumped that prick Dan on his ass?”

“Hi, Mr. Brookheimer.” 

“Hello, Daniel.”

“No, Dad, that’s not it...it’s the opposite actually.”

“Oh my god! My little girl’s engaged!!” Amy’s mom shrieked into the phone, causing Dan to flinch from the sound. No doubt that was where Amy got her shrill tone from. 

“Ugh, no fucking way.” Was Sophie’s response.

“Nobody fuckin’ asked you, Sophie. I called mom and dad, not you. Please remove yourself from the conversation, thanks.”

There was silence from Amy’s dad. 

“When’s the wedding?!?”

What was it with mothers being so fucking overly excited at the prospect of their children getting married.

“December, I’ll call you later to start planning, but I’m gonna let you go guys go, it’s getting pretty late and we have an early start tomorrow. G’night.”

Dan watched as Amy ended the call without waiting for a response. 

“You ok?” 

“How about we just elope? Spare having my family anywhere near this circus.”

“As much as I’d love to, I know that’s not what you really want, so the answer to that is no.”

He’d taken note when she was helping Selina plan her second wedding. 

There was something about weddings that made women not want to shut the fuck up about what they wanted for their own weddings. He knew she wanted to have a rustic wedding, because for some fuckin’ reason she thought that hipster aesthetic was the most pleasing for a wedding. He also knew that she didn’t want too big of a guest list, no more than a hundred and fifty people, which would be easy to do considering neither one of them had many friends, or family to begin with. 

“It’s just that the planning is going to get so stressful, on top of everything.”

“Nah, you’ll have your mom, and Sophie because her nosy ass is going to want in, and you’ll have Selina and Gary...and me.”

“You want to help plan?”

“You’re not the only one getting married.” 

“I could kiss you right now.”

“I’ve got a better idea.” He responded, pulling her on top of him.  
\---

“Okay, so these are your secondary and third color palette choices.” 

Gary handed her several paint cards.

She and Dan had decided they wanted their primary color to be Grey and the cards in her hand were mint, gold, white, slate blue, and a salmon pink. She literally knew nothing about complimentary colors.

“Go with the gold and white.” Selina commented. “You’re getting married in the winter, those will look best with that fuckin’ hipster doofus theme you wanted.”

“Gold and white it is.” Amy responded, discarding the other cards. 

Wedding planning thus far had not proven to be as difficult as she had thought it would be. They were a month into their planning and they had already secured a venue, The Josephine Butler Parks Center. They had spent the last three weekends searching for the right venue that would accommodate to all of their needs and had gone to over twenty different places in the D.C. area. The moment they had pulled up to the building, with the arches in the structure leading to the entrance almost equivalent to those of the proscenium arch of a theatre, she knew that it was the right place. 

But just because one thing had gone well thus far in their planning, it didn’t mean everything else would magically fall into place. Seeing as being anxious about upcoming events going wrong was Amy’s specialty, the weekly planning nights stressed her the fuck out. If she didn’t learn to calm down in the next few weeks and actually take a breath for once, she was afraid her hair would start falling out.

“When do you want to go dress shopping?” Selina asked looking up at her from the catalog she was thumbing through. 

“What day is it?”

“It’s June 28th.” Dan responded as he waltzed into the room, carrying several bags of food and a bottle of wine. “Hi, Selina. Hey, Gar.”

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

“Nobody cares, Gary.” They all responded in unison. 

“Did I miss much?” Dan asked as Amy felt him kiss the top of her head before placing the bags on the dining room table and taking the empty seat beside her.

“Picked the other colors.” She responded, handing him the paint cards before digging into the bags and pulling out the Italian food he’d picked up on his way home. 

“Gold and white? Touche. What about the flowers? I was looking up flowers that are in season in the winter…”

She watched him pull out his phone and pass it to her. 

He had an album filled with at least hundred pictures of different species of flowers, in various different colors. The thought of scrolling through the pictures alone was enough to put Amy on edge. It was such a simple task and it was enough to stress her out. 

Dan must have noticed the shift in her mood because he grabbed his phone back and scrolled through the album, pulling up four different sets of bouquets and showing them to her. She instantly felt a little better.

He was so weirdly into planning their wedding but it didn’t phase her in the slightest. His willingness was enough to make up for her lackluster interest in planning the event. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited to be getting married, it was the literal fucking opposite of it. She was so goddamn happy that this was happening, but it was just the fact that she knew that the closer they got to the end of the year, the more stressed they would both become, and the more stressed they both became, the more likely they were to argue, and they were at a good place in their relationship. They were happy.

They were a little less than six months from their third anniversary.

Neither one of them had had a relationship last longer than a year and a half. Before her, Dan hadn’t been in a relationship for over five years, and her last relationship had only lasted a year and she hadn’t even realized that a year had passed. Being together meant that they were the most sustainable relationship either had ever had.

It was terrifying to her.

They had worked out the kinks in their relationship during its first year. There had been a lot of crying and screaming and broken dishes, courtesy of none other than Amy herself. There had been a few moments when they almost called it quits, thinking that they wouldn’t be able to overcome whatever fucking hurdle they were currently in the middle of. They’d shared bad times, from her miscarriage to Dan being let go from his first news network; which she took as an advantage to tease him over, that between the two he was always the one getting fired. But they’d also shared so many good times, from buying their first home together to Dan being offered his own late night spot on HBO, which had done so much better than either could imagine.

Their relationship was at its strongest point.

Amy turned her attention back to the bouquets.

“What’s this one?” She leaned her chin against Dan’s shoulder, pointing at the picture on the top right of his screen.

“It’s Roses, Scabiosas, and Anemones, plus a few feathers and leaves.” 

“That’s the one.” She responded, pulling away and turning her attention back to the food at the table. 

“Does Sophie know she’s not your Maid of Honor?” Selina asked, reaching for the bottle of wine and using a knife to remove the cork.

“Sophie literally had no reason to ever even assume she would be my fucking Maid of Honor.”

“Good.” 

The only way Sophie would ever be her Maid of Honor was over Amy’s dead body. Selina was her Maid of Honor, just as Amy had been for her at her second wedding, and there would literally be no other members of the bridal party. She could have made Sophie the second bridesmaid, but out of spite she chose not to. Besides, Dan had no friends either, but unlike her, he did have a decent relationship with his sibling, therefor his younger brother, Andy would be his best man. 

The smaller the wedding party, the less people either one would be forced to interact with the morning, which would make them both a little less anxious. 

“Speaking of that cunt known as your sister, we never finished talking about when you wanted to go dress shopping seeing as Jeeves over here walked in with dinner and any little focus you had flew right out the goddamn door.”

“Well, the next weekend is pretty light for you, and I know my mom and Sophie are free because it’s the summer, so the kids are free of school and capable of being lugged around with ease.”

“Next weekend it is. What about you Danny boy? You start lookin’ at tuxes yet?”

“No ma’am.”

“Well, get it together. It’s only gonna get more stressful from here on out so you might as well wanna get the small shit out of the way.” 

“Duly noted.” Both Dan and Amy replied.

\--

He had honestly never imagined that getting married would be as stressful as it was proving to be. It was Halloween, putting them at a little over a month and half away from the wedding and Dan was ready to claw his fucking eyes out. He hadn’t felt as anxious and stressed since they’d been in London, almost five years prior and he was afraid that if he didn’t get out of that state of mind, he’d have another fucking breakdown. 

“So...I’ve got some bad news…”

“Gary, this is literally the last thing I want to hear.” Dan growled in irritation.

They were currently in the process of counting through the guest list to confirm with the caterer how many of each entree they would be needing for the reception. Gary’s phone had gone off and he had stepped out of the room to answer it. Dan hadn’t thought anything of it, he had assumed it was Selina, who was currently out with Amy, Sophie, their mother, and Catherine, having alterations done on their dresses. He had clearly thought wrong.

“The band cancelled…”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Those pansy ass stupid goddamn hipsters cancelled? Do they not know who Amy and I are? I could fucking ruin them, I could get them fucking blacklisted from ever getting a goddamn motherfucking gig in any state other than Arkansas!!! These stupid fuckers are going to ruin the night by fucking canceling. Every goddamn band is already booked for Christmas parties or whatever the fuck else is happening in D.C. in December.” 

He was livid.

The band was one of the things that Amy had put her input in and she was really excited to have them play at the reception. Now she was going to be let down.

“The fuck are you on about?” 

He heard her voice before he saw her, but she entered the dining room, the other women following suit and stopped in her tracks at the look on his face. 

“Can everyone give us a moment in private, please?” She asked, already turning and shoo-ing everyone else outside of the room as she closed the Oak sliding doors behind them.

“What the fuck are you freaking out about?” Amy asked, as she walked over to where he was seated, hopping up onto the table beside him and using the chair as a foot rest.

“The band cancelled.”

He watched as she took a second to process, giving a small nod.

“Ok. We’ll get another band or we’ll just have our first dance to the original version of the song.”

“Ames. That’s the band you wanted.”

“Yeah, it was. But you know, people are asshats and fucking cancel things, even if said things are going to be one of the most memorable days of the lives of the people they’re canceling on, but whatever. It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal. If one goddamn thing goes wrong a month and half away from the wedding, even more’s gonna go wrong the closer we get to this fucking thing, and you’re gonna realize that this isn’t what you want and I’m not what you want and then you’re gonna leave.” 

He looked away from her. He hadn’t meant to let her know how he was truly feeling, but it had slipped out. It was truly how he felt though, that something would come along and ruin everything good that they had going, and she would leave him. 

And he wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

“Dan.” She said laughing and shifting herself so that he was within her reach. She leaned forward and he felt her hands cradle his face. “Listen here, dumbass. I’m not going to leave you because our band cancelled. I’m not going to leave you if anything goes wrong with the wedding. It’s not your fault, you cannot control any of the crazy ass shit that might happen between now and then. But don’t worry about me going anywhere, fuck face. I’m not.”

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” He responded, grabbing her hands and pulling them away from his face and just holding them in his lap. “You are the most annoying fucking person on this planet and yet I know I wouldn’t be able to live my life without you in it. Which is obviously why I’m marrying you, because there’s no one else I would rather live out the rest of this goddamn life with. But goddamn, do I fucking love you, Amy. There’s nothing I don’t love about you, not even the shrillness of your voice. It’s come to be one of my favorite sounds in the fucking world. Even when you’re rattling on and on about how much you want to kill me, or when you’re pissed as fuck about work and throwing dishes, I still fucking love you, you crazy bitch. Because I know there’s no one else who is going to love me as much as you do, and put up with me like you do, or challenge me, or make me better, and smarter, and more driven. No one else I’d rather get drunk with and talk shit about three-fourths of D.C. with until three in the morning. You’re too fucking good for me, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life wondering how I got so lucky for you to choose me.” 

“Yeah, well that feeling’s mutual, fucktard. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and it scares me. So I know where you’re coming from when you think I’m gonna leave you, because sometimes I feel like you are going to leave me.”

He was so surprised to hear that. 

“Yeah, because I’m gonna be dumb enough to let you go again. I’d rather blow my fuckin’ brains out than see you with anyone else and have to deal with losing you.”

“That’s that most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me. I didn’t even know you had a heart to feel emotions so deep.”

“Fuck you.” 

“Now, if you’re done having a meltdown about a hypothetical situation that is never going to fucking happen, we have a Halloween party to get ready for, once we get all of these people out of our house.”

“Yeah, I’m done with the meltdown.”

“Good, because getting that Iron Man arm on you is going to take at least half an hour.”

\---

“What in the fuck? There’s two of them.” 

Amy knew who Selina was talking about without having to look up. It was Andy, Dan’s younger brother. The two were almost identical. It was uncanny how well the two could pass off for twins, considering they were four years apart.

“You never met Andy?” Amy commented, taking a sip of her wine. They were in the midst of the rehearsal dinner, and everyone was mingling with one another as they waited for the remainder of the guests to arrive. 

“Who the fuck is Andy? Like I need another Andrew in my life. Both the ones I've known have done nothing but fuck me over.”

“He’s the best man, Selina.”

“You sure Dan didn't have himself cloned? You sure you're marrying the right one?”

“100% sure on both matters. The only thing they’ve got in common is their DNA.”

Dan’s brother was his complete opposite. He was soft, kind, awkward with the ladies, a little overly sensitive. He was good with kids too, which Dan wasn’t. Andy was a first grade teacher. Where Dan was fucking handsome, Andy was down right adorable. 

Amy watched as Dan interacted with his brother, both of them laughing and fucking around with one another.

Ugh.

She was completely and utterly in love with that dumbass and his stupid fuckin’ face with his perfect goddamn smile. He must have felt her eyes on him because he looked over at her and winked. She stood, taking Selina by the hand and dragging her over to them.

“Amy!” 

Andy was way too excited to see her.

“Hey, Andy.” She smiled as he kissed her cheek. 

“She doesn’t need to introduce me and yet she’s dragged my ass over here anyway.” Selina quipped, extending a hand to the younger man.

“Of course she doesn’t need to introduce you. It’s a pleasure and an honor to walk down that aisle with you tomorrow. I voted for you both times you ran.”

Just like Dan, he did know how to charm them, though unlike Dan, he was completely unaware of the fact. 

Amy felt Dan’s arm slink around her waist.

“I need to talk to you about something.” He murmured into her ear and she looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Nothing bad, I promise.” He finished, pulling her out of the dining room and leading her down the hall and escorting her into a closet.

“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about that requires us hiding in a fucking closet?”

“Nothing.” He responded, grabbing her by the hips and pressing his mouth against hers.

“Quickie?” She murmured.

“You know me so fucking well.” 

She gripped the buckle of his belt, unbuckling it and shoving her hands into his boxers. He groaned against her mouth as she ran her hand along his shaft. She let out a loud shriek when he lifted her, pinning her against the wall before pushing her panties aside and thrusting into her.

She moaned, gasping as he adjusted himself with a slow stroke, burying his face into the crook of her neck. 

“We…” He grunted as he moved his hips against hers, “are getting married tomorrow.” 

She dug her nails into his shoulder as her other hand toyed with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Yeah…” She paused, biting her lip in attempts to quiet herself. “We are...I love you, so fucking..” Amy moaned, feeling her cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Much.” She panted.

\---

Dan carefully put Amy down once they’d finished, watching as she quickly adjusted her dress, pulling it back down and to its proper length and extending a hand to him.

“Give me my panties back, fuck face.” 

“Nah, we have another two hours of this rehearsal dinner left and then I’m not seeing you until tomorrow, so I’d rather keep these as a memory of our last pre-marital fuck.” 

He smirked as she rolled her eyes before pushing past him and walking out of the closet.

“There’s literally no fuckin’ way that kid is your brother. He is too fuckin’ charming to be related to a snake like you.” Selina quipped the second he had reentered the dining room.

“He’s literally my clone, come on.” 

“He’s so...pure.” 

He watched as she scrunched her nose at the comment she had made. 

Typical Selina.

“Yeah, hence why he teaches little snot nosed brats the alphabet and how to count.”

“Anyway. Listen here, fucktard.” 

Dan shifted his attention from Amy who was currently having an animated conversation with Tom James over god knows what and looked down at the woman in front of him. 

He’d known Selina for nearly ten years and it was always a fuckin’ experience to be looking down at this woman who sent most people running.

“If you ever hurt her, cheat on her, leave her, I will end your career. Get you blacklisted from ever working in D.C. or television again. Ya understand?”

“Never hurting her is a little fucking unrealistic seeing as at some point everyone hurts the person they love whether they intended to or not ‘cause it happens in life but I’m not a cheater and I don’t plan on leaving her, so though I know you’re a hundred percent serious with your Godfather persona kicking in to make these threats, you won’t ever have to fulfill them.”

“Atta boy.” She responded, patting his arm.

===  
She had never felt more fucking nervous in her entire goddamn life. Not when she graduated high school or college. Not when she lost her virginity or when she interviewed for her first post grad job in D.C. 

Amy grabbed the waste basket beside the bed and threw up into it.

What a beautiful way to start the morning of her wedding. 

“You didn't even drink that much last night, do not tell me you're even more a fuckin’ light weight, Ames.” Selina commented as she walked into the room, clearly having freshly gotten out of the shower, Catherine and her camera in tow.

Catherine had been documenting the wedding process for the last few months. Amy had only agreed to allow it because she knew that it would keep Catherine occupied instead of running her goddamn mouth over issues that didn't concern her as she had been doing since she was old enough to form a fucking coherent sentence. It was the easiest way to ensure that there was no negative press surrounding Selina before she announced her intent to run again. So far, everything had gone as smoothly as planned.

Amy groaned, pulling her pillow over her head. After a moment she felt the bed shift and suddenly she was squinting at the brightness of her room.

“What’s your deal, princess? Better not be getting cold fuckin’ feet. Shit, if they’re cold it’s because you decided to get married in the middle of the fucking winter, not because you’re having second thoughts. Now get your ass up and take a shower!”

Selina gave her a shove.

“Were you nervous before your first wedding?” Amy asked, having been present at the second wedding to know that Selina was a ball of fucking endless energy. Amy had never seen her so wired in the time she had been working for her. She had even asked her if she was on drugs, only to be told to fuck off. 

“Yeah, I was fuckin’ nervous. I was twenty-three and about to make the worst mistake of my goddamn life. Best thing Andrew ever gave me was those god forsaken divorce papers - no offense, Catherine.” 

“I’ve learned to ignore what comes out of your mouth, mom.” 

“As I was saying. You two will be okay. You don’t need to worry. You’re stuck with that dumb fucker for good. He’s not going anywhere. And if he tries to, you tell me and I’ll put a hit on him so quickly that he wouldnt even have seen it comin’ and you’d be rolling in the insurance money.”

Amy rolled her eyes, letting out a small laugh.

Leave it to Selina to make her feel better by threatening her fiance. 

“Thanks for the pep talk, ma’am.”  
“Stop calling me ma’am. You’ve worked with me for like, fifteen years. You were the maid of honor at my wedding. I’m the maid of honor at yours. You call me ma’am one more fuckin’ time and I will fire you.” 

“Duly noted.” Amy responded, sitting up and stretching her arms over her head. 

Maybe the day wouldn’t be as fucking awful as she was expecting it to be.

\---

Gary was driving him in-fucking-sane. They had an hour to kill before the ceremony, and he was fucking smothering him. 

“If you pat anymore of that shit on my face, Gary, I swear to god i will rip your fucking hand off and shove it so far up your ass it’ll come out of your mother.” He growled, smacking Gary’s hand away.

As if he needed his face touched up for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes. Yeah, he wanted to look good for the thousands of pictures that would be taken because he knew that there would paparazzi because of the guest list, but if he had that hand in his face once more he was going to fucking snap, and the last thing he wanted was to get arrested on the day of his wedding.

“You’re sweating so much that your face is shining so much it’s going to glisten when the flashes go off later. But whatever, Dan. Look like you’re sweating because you have the shits.”

“You look fine, Danny.” Andy commented from the corner where he was scrolling through his phone. 

God bless his little brother.

“Though, your tie is crooked.” He added looking up before he walked over to him and adjusted it for him, pulling him into a hug once he was finished. “Unlike what you did to me, I did not fuck your fiance. Amy’s not my type, too blonde, too shrill, fucking insane. But she’s good for you, I’m happy for you. Especially because this means that all of my future partners are off limit to you for sure, because I know you’ll have no balls at the end of it.”

They had very little things in common, but sometimes, it really showed they were brothers. 

\--

Amy shoved her phone into her garter, not being able to shove it between her tits due to the fact that the v cut of her dress was so low that it left no space for her phone to be held. If the dress hadn’t had a cut out back, she would have held it to her with the help of her bra, but she had no other choice. It wouldn’t be her if she didn’t have her third limb on her at all times. Even at her wedding. Shit, she was sure her phone would be in her hand if she ever gave fucking birth. 

She took a deep breath, looking at herself in the mirror. The dress was sheath, satin with a complete layer of lace over it, the cut out in the back dipping so low that it ended just a few mere inches above her ass crack. The train wasn’t very long, no more than two feet. Her hair was down and in waves, part of it pulled back and held in place with the same diamond hairpin her mom had used when she had gotten married.

The expression Sophie had made when their mother pulled out the pin was enough to make Amy grin like she had just won the fuckin’ jack pot. She knew Sophie had always wanted that damn hairpin, and their mom had always promised to give it to whichever daughter got married first. 

Amy was glad to take something from her bitch of a sister.

She deserved it. 

She smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath. 

She looked fucking great. She was ready. 

There was a knock on the door and Selina entered with a little girl who had to be at least two years old perched on her hip. Amy wasn’t fond of kids, but she had to admit that she was pretty fucking cute, with her ginger hair and bright blue eyes. She was also surprised to find Selina of all people with this child.

“Pwetty.” The little girl shouted, excitedly. 

Amy couldn’t help but smile.

“Who’s kid did you kidnap?”

“This is my Goddaughter, Amber. She’s one of Mike’s twerps.” Selina responded.

Amy had completely forgotten that Mike had made Selina the Godmother of the triplets his surrogate had spawned. She had mentioned it in passing, but if it wasn’t work related, or if Selina wasn’t directly addressing her, she tended to let things go over her head.

“She’s too cute to be his.” 

She watched the little girl toy with the diamond necklace on Selina’s neck.  
Since when was Selina good with children? She’d barely paid attention to Catherine as a child, yet here she was, willingly carrying around someone else’s kid. It was some twilight zone shit.

“Yeah, well turns out Wendy’s got some pretty good genetics.” Selina retorted. “But, that’s not what I came in here for. We’re good to go. Ya got five minutes to get your butt out of this room so we can get this show on the road.”

Even on the most important day of her life, Amy was still being bossed around by Selina Meyer.  
\---  
Dan stood at the canopy at the front of the room, beside the Justice of Peace, his hands in his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking. When the first few notes of Pachelbel’s Canon began to play, he felt like he was going to throw up. 

He watched as Selina and his brother walked down the aisle, arm in arm, Selina winking at her husband as she passed him. He had to admit that for someone less than a decade away from being a senior citizen, she looked fucking fantastic in that gold bridesmaid dress. They reached their designated places and when he saw Amy walk into the room on her dad’s arm, his heart skipped a fucking beat. 

Who the fuck was he? Three years ago, he wouldn’t have fucking had this reaction if he had been getting married. But three years ago he wouldn’t have been marrying Amy, the one he let go years prior because he had known that she would be the one to be his undoing. And here he was, feeling as though he was going to pass the fuck out.

“God fucking damn.” He murmured when they reached him, eliciting a chuckle from her and a roll of the eyes from her dad. 

“Take care of her, asshole.” 

“I swear on my life Mr. Brookheimer, that’s what I intend.”

Amy’s father walked away and took his seat, still not amused.

He’d get over it in a few fuckin’ years. 

“You look fucking stunning.” He said the moment he got a proper look at her.

She laughed. 

God. He loved that sound.

“You don’t look so bad yourself. Ready to get this shit on the road?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

\--

When Dan (of all fucking people) had suggested that they skip out on writing their vows, Amy had thrown a fit. The thought of being unprepared in front of so many guests was not a welcome one. 

But as she stood there, beside him as they were getting ready to exchange whatever fucking word vomit left their mouths, she knew that it would be ok.

“Which one of you would like to go first?” The justice of the peace asked.

“I will.” They responded in unison, causing everyone to laugh.

“Ladies first, fucker.” She teased, sticking her tongue out at him and causing another roar of laughter.

“Idiots.” She heard Selina murmur behind her.

“Whenever you're ready.”

She took a deep breath.

“You know… We met when I was straight out of Grad School, literally the day before I started working for Selina. I was scoping out the place and trying to get a look at the fuckin’ layout of the building, and there you were, your nose in your fucking phone, not paying attention to where you were going and crashed straight into me and spilled my water onto the white button down I was wearing. Of fucking course, you stared straight at my tits as I pulled my cardigan closed and when they were out of your sight, you looked up at my and apologized, that stupid fucking half smirk on your face. Then you asked what a girl like me, who clearly looked like she had been inspired to pursue this field by Elle Woods, fuck you for that by the way, Elle Woods is fucking fantastic. But when I told you I was working for Senator Meyer, that grin fell off of your face so quickly, because you’d lost the job to me. But nonetheless, you asked for my number and something in me decided it was a good idea to give it to you and...boy, little did we know what the fuck we were getting ourselves into. You know, you drive me fucking insane. To the point where I want to castrate you sometimes. But...you’re good for me. As freakishly corny as it sounds, coming from me of all people. You make me better...test my patience...but no one’s going to put with me as a partner in both life and work, like you do. I love you, loser.” 

She hastily wiped at her eyes.

No fucking way she was going to be one of those brides who cried during their vows. 

She’d rather fucking die. 

“Ames.”

Dan reached forward and grabbed both of her hands and she knew it was to stop his own from shaking.

“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever fucking met, and I worked for Selina Meyer.”

There was a laugh. Amy could feel Selina rolling her eyes behind her.

“Your voice is the most shrill thing I’ve ever heard and yet it’s my favorite sound in the world. You drive me up a fucking wall but I know that no one else is going to put up with me as well as you do, because as crazy as you fucking are, I’m probably about ten times worse. If one of us is a sociopath, it’s me. You’ve got a conscience and throughout the last few years, you have become mine. Fucking incredible, isn’t it? Turned me into something other than the piece of shit I was when we first met. Managed to make me a better man, a better lobbyist. I knew the day we met that I would fall so fucking hard for you and the hardest thing I ever did was let you go. But if I hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t be where we are today. I’d probably be working for some low level congressman. Hell, I’d probably be Furlong’s bitch. God knows I would have killed myself by now if that were the case. But anyway, I’m gonna be as cliche as it fuckin’ gets here, but I love you, Amy Brookheimer. More than I’ve ever loved anyone else, more than I’ve ever loved any job I’ve ever had, more than I love myself. And we all know I’m the cockiest mother fucker in the room, if not on earth. I’m fucking glad to be spending the rest of my life with you.”

\---

Dan draped an arm around the back of Amy’s chair, his free hand rubbing her thigh as Selina clanked her fork against the glass of wine in her hand. 

His brother had just made the Best Man’s speech and being the Maid of Honor, it was Selina’s turn in the limelight and Dan knew she would love every second of it, being the attention whore that she was. 

“I’m not introducing myself because everyone in this room knows who I fucking am, due to the fact that I was the leader of the free world for a year.”

How charming of her.

“I love Amy Brookheimer with all of my cold, black heart. She is a fucking exemplary Chief of Staff and as loyal as they get. Sure, she might have abandoned me in the middle of an election season, but in the end she came back to me. If ya love something, ya let it go and it’ll come back or some shit, right? Seems like the case with these two bozos as well, which by the way, probably wouldn’t have even rekindled their romance had I not hired Dan as a part of my team all of those years ago, even after Amy advised me to do otherwise, claiming that he was a shit. Well, he is a shit. But he’s her fuckin’ better half and the only person who can match wits with her. The only person who will ever be her equal in every way, shape and form. Dan, Amy’s my best friend and I know you love her and that you’re gonna treat her fuckin’ well. Or else.” 

She looked over at him and winked before returning to her designated seat. 

 

Having had enough of everyone, Dan pulled Amy out onto the dance floor for their first dance. As the opening notes to Paul McCartney’s, Maybe I’m Amazed began to fill the air, his hands pulled her as close as possible as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face into the crook of his neck as they began to sway to the music.

“Are you happy?” He whispered into her ear, pressing his nose against her cheek.

“Insanely.” She replied. 

Both of their phones went off and he couldn’t help but laugh as she hiked up her dress and pulled her phone out of her garter.

Typical fucking Amy.

“I fucking love you.”

“Yeah, I know.” She quipped, shoving her phone in his face to show him the picture she had been sent. 

Before he could get a good glimpse of it, the phone was out of sight.

“No phones! This is your first dance! Pay attention to each other!!!” Gary exclaimed as he pocketed Amy’s cellphone and reached for Dan’s. He handed it over. For once, Gary had a point. He shooed him away, pulling Amy back towards him.

“We’re married.” She commented, bringing up their joined hands to get a good look at their matching wedding bands.

“Yeah, we fuckin’ are, babe.” 

She kissed him.


End file.
